the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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