Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
