I am puke
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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