you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Randomize
