Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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