i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize