Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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