i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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