what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
