Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Randomize
