hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
dude. I can hear the air.
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