how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
ugly people sure do ruin things
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
ttyl tear gas
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I just had sex on a roof
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
