Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
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