I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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