and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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