these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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