We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
