My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
