Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
