what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
