the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
