i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
