She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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