Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
