i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
