Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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