she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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