just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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