So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
