you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
