Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Randomize
