I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
They are going to name an STD after you.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
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