Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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