listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
