she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
