i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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