your room smells of hookers.
And success
Jerry, you need to find god
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
