you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
