i just wanna soil my oats bro
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
