He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
