They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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