fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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