go do what you do best...puke behind churches
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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