I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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