woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
