drinking out of a sandbucket again
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
