omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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