ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize