A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
