that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
