No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I'm both gender and math confused
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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