I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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