This is not my ceiling
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
