nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
