i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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