bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
