HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
