Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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