ugly people sure do ruin things
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
