I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
We have started to decorate penises.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Randomize
