Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Yo dont text me then not text me
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
