He is an equal opportunity slut.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Randomize