that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Randomize
