am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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