Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
