May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
