Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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