i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
