So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
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