I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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