He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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